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Today Thomas is four weeks old. I can’t believe it!! It’s strange how fast time has gone by. It seems like we were driving to the hospital
yesterday, and at the same time, (though I’ve only had him for a few weeks) I
can’t remember exactly how my life felt before him (Definitely not as full).
WARNING: For those of you, who are grossed out by labor
stories, skip this next section:
Looking back, I can say I had a fairly smooth labor. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but what ever
is? I went to bed around 11:00 p.m.
feeling unexceptionally ordinary. John
and I had made several fun plans for the following day (kind of a
“before-baby-comes” day) and I was looking forward to getting in some quality
time together before our little duo became a trio. However, I woke up around 1:30 a.m. feeling “crampy”. I wasn’t sure if these cramps were
contractions, but I was suspicious. While pregnant I basically asked every mom
I’ve ever known about what I could expect when labor hit (a terrifying
curiosity). Everyone pretty much
responded the same: “When it happens, you just know.” Well, no labor light bulb went off for
me. I tried to use the bathroom,
thinking maybe it was some oatmeal cookies working against me. When that didn’t help, I started watching my
clock. The “cramps” were questionably
coming every 5 minutes and lasting about 60 seconds. But I STILL wasn’t sure. There was no cliché movie moment of me bent
over in the bathroom puffing air and screaming at my husband, “it’s time!”
There was no tell-tell gush of water sending me over the edge of certainty. Nope, just cramps similar to that of bad
Indian food. My doctor had warned me
that contractions would start slow and be spaced far apart, and that I SHOULD
NOT come to the hospital until they were 3-5 minutes apart. I envisioned hours of watching my clock and
pacing the halls. I even downloaded a
contraction app to help do the counting for me.
But, after 30 minutes of lying in bed, questioning myself, the 5 minutes
had turned into 3 to 4 minutes. Thinking that I was being overly cautious, but
afraid of having Thomas on our hardwood floor (we would never be able to clean
that mess up), I decided to wake John up and, with trepidation, head to the
hospital. I still had my doubts when we
checked in to the maternity ward. I even
embarrassingly told the nurse that it might be a false alarm. Looking back I’m not sure why I was so
worried about it being false labor. For
some reason I felt really guilty about waking John up and making a fuss about
what could be nothing. I told John not
to call anyone until a nurse had appropriately checked me; this is how much I
doubted that I was in labor. I was still
waiting for the big “ah ha!” moment.
That moment never really came until the nurse checked me and I was already
7-8 cm dilated (2:30 a.m.). The nurse
asked me, because I was moving so quickly, if I wanted to do a natural
childbirth. I had a solitary moment where
I considered the idea. How neat would it
be to have a natural childbirth without any prep work? A single contraction later I snapped back to
reality and became totally freaked out by the idea (“Are you insane?? You
haven’t even taken a childbirth class, let alone a natural childbirth
class!! Get the Epi fool!!!!”), so, needless
to say, I requested an epidural. After I
received the epi my contractions slowed down and I felt a-maz-ing! I couldn’t believe I was in active labor and
felt absolutely nothing. My in-laws and
my dad got to the hospital and I was just chilling (“dum-de-dum-dum-dum, my body is practically
ripping open and I feel NOTHING!”). Side
note: An epidural is liquid magic and the creator of it should be given a
golden throne.
Little did I know that the real “fun” was just beginning.
Unfortunately Thomas decided to enter into the world the one
night that my doctor (who I love and adore) was not on call and couldn’t be in
until 8:00. I was moving so quickly that
the nurse warned me that I wasn’t going to make it to that time. I knew that this may be a possibility, but it
never seemed to bother me. Someone’s got
to get the baby out, right? I approached my labor completely open and
relaxed. I never did a birth plan, and
when the nurse asked me about one, I told her I planned to have a baby. I knew that anything could happen during the
process, and the end result was my main concern. Just get me from pregnant to
non-pregnant with a healthy baby in my arms, preferably by the end of the day
and all will be good. I highly suggest
this attitude to anyone preparing for labor.
ANYTHING can happen and you may set yourself up for disappointment if
you meticulously plan how your labor will go.
Good luck with that one, bud!
Before the other doctor came in to check me, my wonderful
nurse (can I just take a moment and show my gratitude and appreciation to all
of the nurses who helped us? They were amazing!!) warned me that this
particular doctor was a drill sergeant. He
apparently was old, “curmudgeon” and didn’t want to be there that early (umm, you
picked the wrong profession, Einstein!) Still,
this did not bother me; I was in my “epi zen” mode.
To make the whole gory and lively story short, this doctor didn’t
like waiting for babies and first time moms (this is what the nurse told
me). He, instead, wanted to rush the
process along. As a result, he decided
to cut off my (precious) epidural to speed things up. Four hours is not fast
enough for mister “I have better things to do at 3:00 in the morning.” “We can turn
it back on” he assured me, falsely. To move things even faster, he decided that
with every contraction, while I was pushing, he would push down on my stomach as
well. This would push the baby against
my cervix. He did this so hard I had
bruises on my stomach. I wont even go
into details about the pain that this caused, but lets just say after I had
Thomas I almost passed out, literally. I
pushed like this for about 40 minutes, with him pushing down on my stomach,
making every contraction feel 100 times more terrible. I don’t want to tell people this to scare
them, but to prepare them. Don’t let
this happen to you!! It’s NOT normal (I found out) to have your epidural
completely turned off (they can turn it down), and it’s NOT normal for the
doctor to push on your stomach unless the baby is in distress. Most first time moms are in labor for a long
time and can even push for 3 hours before having a baby. Don’t let the doctor rush you or make you feel
like you are doing anything wrong by taking a while. I got an episiotomy (of course) and the guy
even cut the cord for us, without asking, just to speed things along. Despite
of this, I have to think positively about how fortunate I am. All-in-all everything was worth it. I had the most beautiful and healthy baby at
6:36 a.m. Because my epi was turned off,
Thomas was alert and ready to eat, I was able to walk afterwards, and I know I
can have a natural childbirth if I want to for the next one.
FYI- I did inform my doctor about the situation, who
was incredibly upset and was going to take action against the other
doctor.
The hospital stay was great.
We were there for two additional nights after Thomas was born. Our room had a full size, Tempur-Pedic bed, so
John didn’t have to sleep in one of those tiny chairs or couches. I was so ready to get home, though, with my
little bundle in tow.
Here is some of my advice for your hospital stay:
-Don’t be afraid to put your baby in the nursery: If
you are like us, you’ll hear all kinds of opinions on this matter. Attachment advocates will tell you that it’s
better to have the baby in your room to learn nursing cues and to get
acquainted to one another. This is what
I had always planned on doing. I wanted
my baby, who I had been waiting on for 9 months, to be with me. Let me tell you though, when you’ve had 2
hours of sleep, an intense labor, 50 thousand visitors, and battle wounds, you
may not be up to having your baby in your room.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS.
I was SO thankful we decided to put Thomas in the nursery. The nurses monitored him all night and
watched for any signs of problems or issues.
They brought Thomas in when he showed feeding cues and when he was ready
to eat (about every two hours). I could
actually sleep knowing that he was okay and looked after by professionals. The nurses told me that they thought he was
so cute that he was continually rocked and cuddled (I loved that he wasn’t just
laying in cold bassinet with a crazy eyed, sleep deprived momma near by). If he
had been in my room I would have been standing over his bassinet, continually
staring, afraid of every squeak (or lack of squeak) he made. This does not make for a happy, healthy, and
fully functioning mommy. Trust me, you
will better serve yourself and your baby when you are well rested.
-Bring your own clothes: This is another thing you
may hear debated on. I can’t tell you
how good it felt to shower and put my own robe on. Some people may tell you not to bring your
clothes because you may mess them up (you do bleed a lot), but I didn’t have
any problems with this. I highly suggest
an open front robe with flip-flops or house shoes.
-Spread out visitors (if possible): At one point we
had a room of 20 people the day Thomas was born: TOO many people at once. Talk to your family and friends and try to
spread them out over several days. Tell
some that you would rather have them visit when you are home and settled. The day is so exciting and overwhelming in
itself without 50 people in your face.
Also, don’t be afraid to tell people you aren’t up for visitors. This is not always easy, but you will need
time to rest, feed, and adjust to your baby.
Don’t try to people please right now.
It will get old, QUICKLY!
-Accept help: This one you’ve also probably heard,
but it’s true. When people ask you if
you want food/help, say yes! Just go ahead and start practicing now. Sometimes you may worry that people will
offer this out of courtesy, but still say yes.
They shouldn’t have mentioned it if they didn’t mean it. Accept food, drinks, chores, whatever is offered
and don’t feel guilty!
-Take advantage of what your hospital offers: Ask for
the lactation consultant every day you are there just to make sure you
are getting things right (don’t expect them to just show up, sometimes you have
to ask for them repeatedly), if your hospital offers free massages get one
every day you're there, load up on supplies (ask for extras), think of questions
to ask your pediatrician or nurse. Now
is not the time to be shy. You have so many people, sources of information, and
services at your disposal. USE THEM.
-Down there care: I can’t speak for c-sections, but I
can for vaginal delivery. For me what
really helped after labor were ice packs. The hospital provides ices packs and I used
them continuously. I kept asking for
them, day and night. This really helped
with swelling and pain. Also, using the squirt bottle was helpful when having to
go to the bathroom. Whenever you have to
use the bathroom, fill the squirt bottle with lukewarm water and spray it on
you as you go. This will help with pain
and also with keeping the area clean.
Afterwards you can dab with toilet paper to dry. I could never do a spritz bath. These are
little tubs that go in your toilet that you fill with warm water and sit
on. The nurse and doctor told me to use
it three times a day for 20 minutes each time.
I couldn’t do past 5 minutes once a day.
I eventually just gave up. It
caused me too much pain. Don’t feel like
you have to use one. I did just fine
without it. I also didn’t take percocets. I’m really anti-painkillers. My doctor did encourage me to rotate Motrin and Tylenol, this really helped
with pain management and also swelling.
Don’t be a hero, go ahead and take it. Motrin and Tylenol will not hurt
anything. You will bleed for weeks
after labor. Load up on pads for your home. You don’t necessarily need diaper sized ones,
like they give you in the hospital. The
thin, winged, heavy, Always brand was my favorite. I didn’t really use the witch hazel pads, except when things started healing and feeling
somewhat itchy. They are apparently
really good for hemorrhoids. This is
really common after labor, but I did not have any. Ask for a stool
softener while you are in the hospital.
Being backed up will only make things feel worse. You may feel pressure down there from
pushing. It’s uncomfortable, but it will
pass. You will also feel contractions
while breastfeeding (I know, LAME!).
This is your uterus shrinking. Lastly,
remember to rest. Your body has gone through something
MAJOR. You need to allow it to heal. Don’t freak out about your flabby tummy and
try to walk three days after labor. Give
yourself some time (a month).
-Breastfeeding is difficult, be prepared: I was
really determined to breastfeed. I know
that not everyone can do it, but I really wanted to. As I mentioned before, I got really sore and
had blisters at first. I used a lot
lanolin cream, which really helped. This
is also where asking for a lactation consultant is helpful: You’ll know if you
are doing it right. After a couple of
weeks of breastfeeding, I also had the problem of overproduction and got
Mastitis. I woke up one morning with a
really sore breast, a terrible headache, and a fever. I called the doctor immediately and was put
on an antibiotic. Pumping, feeding,
Tylenol, ice packs, warm towels, and LOTS of rest really helped me, but it took
me a couple of days to feel better. You
basically feel like you have the flu. To
help with overproduction, I’ve started feeding only on one side at a time. Breastfeeding takes a lot of sacrifice,
adjustments, discipline, and commitment.
As my pediatrician pointed out, this is why they use to have wet nurses
who specialized in the stuff: It’s not easy!
I think you have to approach it with conviction and determination,
prepared for difficulties and problems.
It has taught me a lot about what being a mommy is all about, and I know
it will be worth it in the end. Anything
worth doing takes work, right? There are
so many pros that outweigh the cons.
Plus, I’ve already lost 20 lbs just through breastfeeding alone! There’s
another bonus to hanging in there!!
-What to bring:
-Robe
-Flip-flops (good for the shower, too)
-No need to bring underwear (I
just wore the disposables they gave me. They aren’t as bad as people make them
out to be, and trust me with all of the stuff going on down there, there is no
way to be comfortable anyways.)
-Cell phone and
charger (duh)
-Shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush,
makeup (for visitors), hair ties, soap, hair-brush.
-No need for extra blankets or
baby clothes (except going home outfit) unless you just want to dress your baby
up.
-Maybe bring the baby a smaller,
newborn friendly paci (the ones the hospital provide are too big for their
mouths)
-Snacks, snacks,
snacks
-Candies/treats/bars for the
nurses. We did this with a little thank
you stuck to the front of the bowl and they LOVED it. Not only the nurses but all the people who
visited us. Bring it to the labor room
with you too, those are the people who are with you the most. We were told several times by multiple people
that the nutrigrain bars we included were the only things they had been able to
eat.
-I just wore home what I wore to
the hospital: Comfy yoga pants and a T-shirt.
-Nursing bras/sleeping bras.
-I didn’t really need nursing pads
while there. Your milk doesn’t come in until a couple of days.
-The hospital will provide you
with (at least mine did) icepacks, a sitz bath, jumbo pads, witch hazel pads, a
squirt bottle, pain reliever spray, disposable underwear, diapers, wipes, baby
blankets, baby clothes, gowns.
-The towels at the hospital are
pretty small, so you may want to bring one, although I didn’t, because I didn’t
want to haul a million things with me.
-A camera for the bazillion
pictures you’ll take of your baby.
-Change for the vending
machine. Although, my hospital had a
family room with drinks and snacks for the family members, so John didn’t end
up having to use the vending machines.
Check with yours to see if they provide this as well.
