A Lesson in Patience and a Battle Against FOOD

I am not a dieter.  In fact I hate it.  Loathe may be a more appropriate word for what I feel towards strict diets.  My idea of dieting consists of skipping the butter on the huge roll I’m about to shove in my face.  Sacrifice, right?  I, like many Americans, find a lot of joy in my food.  I love breakfast pastries, pizza, burgers, and fries.   It almost seems ironically unfair that the only time I’ve ever swelled up like a balloon and been thankful for the scale going up, is the healthiest I’ve ever eaten.  On the other hand, I suppose when you consider the fact that my son depends on what I eat, it’s not that far fetched.  I do, at times, envy the Jessica Simpsons of the world who proudly consume butter-covered pop-tarts and gain 70 lbs. during their pregnancies without shame.  But, I’ve been trying to diligently stick to my doctor’s suggestion of eating leafy greens and proteins at meals and having healthy carbs for snacks (healthy being the key word).  No more pop tarts and waffles in the morning for me.  This has not been easy.  In fact, its just plain difficult. My poor husband has had to listen to me fuss, complain, and huff my way through the past couple of weeks.  I’m failing at being humble and content. 

It’s funny that with all of the things that pregnancy brings, this is what is getting to me the most.  Food:  A four-letter word that has the power to consume you, while you're consuming it.   During this time, I’ve had to learn how to treat food as being more than a “what I want, when I want it” and instead as a well-thought-out process of considering what nutrients I need at the time.  Healthy eating, for me, has taken a lot of time, consideration, and thought.  Mornings were the hardest transition.  I’m accustomed to waking up, pouring a bowl of cereal and eating.  Now, I have to wake up, separate egg whites, scramble, put in pan, prepare spinach and vegetables, wait for eggs to be ready to construct an omelet, make turkey bacon, assemble omelet, make some oatmeal, and consume.  Meals can take 30-40 minutes to cook.  This is not easy for someone who is 32 weeks pregnant, tired, and hungry.  What about instant gratification???  God is definitely teaching me an important lesson right now:  Patience and self-control.  An especially important lesson before I have a baby to care for.   What surprises me most (and what I didn’t see coming) was that it’s coming from my love of food.  Good one, God.  He definitely knew where it was going to make the most impact, and it has.

This may seem like small stuff to some of you.  Some of you may be asking, “what’s the big deal?? Don’t eat fatty foods, breads, or processed sugar, EASY!” (This is the attitude my husband sometimes has in response to my many complaints).  Have you ever seen a pregnant woman with a pregnancy craving?  It’s like a Mack truck prepared to roll over anyone trying to get in her way.  You try to stop a pregnant woman from eating that cinnamon roll she’s been thinking about for the past hour and she will mow you down like a lawn mower (we have a lot of power behind our spreading hips).  Our minds are telling us “if I don’t eat this, and NOW, I will die, literally, and take you down with me.”  This is what I’m fighting against, in myself.  Trust me, patience is being learned!   

When I’m not wallowing on the couch battling a sugar craving, I do take pride in that I am doing the very best for our baby.   I’m proud of myself for knowing that I am not letting my selfish drives determine what I do for him.  Thinking of his health and giving him the best, keeps me choosing the bag of unsalted almonds instead of the bag of chips.  I already love him so much, and in retrospect, this all seems like a small sacrifice to make for his well being.  I suppose this is what parent-hood (and love) is all about.

Surprise!

Last night I was completely surprised with a baby shower/birthday party.  John and I have been talking about taking advantage of our time together before the baby comes, so I didn’t suspect anything when he proposed that we dress up and have a date night.  When we walked into the restaurant there were about 20 of our friends waiting on us.  I was so shocked that I just stood there for a few seconds looking like a deer in headlights.  Then I became so excited that I began shaking obnoxiously as I looked around the room taking in everyone’s faces.  I’m positive everyone was wondering what was up with this crazy preggy lady.   I felt incredibly blessed to have so many people come out to express their love for us.  Some of them drove from a long distance, in a severe thunderstorm, to be there.  I was amazed that they would do that for me.  Some friends couldn’t be there and sent their warmest wishes, just knowing that they wished they could celebrate with us, but couldn’t, meant a lot to me.  I received some of the sweetest things, but more than anything, I was honored to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.   On our way out of the restaurant (Parlay Social, great food and atmosphere!) we had to make a quick jaunt back to the parking lot through a heavy, cold rain.  Luckily, my husband is a gentleman and gave me his coat and we just laughed at the situation.  Just another happy memory from an already memorable evening!

 I often forget to be thankful enough for the people that God has placed in our lives: Both old friends and new, some people I barely see at all, and some that have become, or are, family.  Even the people who weren’t there, but have graced our lives with their friendship and support came to my mind last night.  I think for me, pregnancy has truly brought my relationships to the forefront of my mind.  I’ve found that you begin to look around and notice all of the love in your life and you treasure it.  It’s almost as if feeling so much love for your new baby, your husband, and your new family causes you to more fully acknowledge the love you have for others.  The stuff just multiplies.

On another note, the nursery is finally coming together.  All we need now is the crib, the glider, and a side table.  I have all the decorations finished, except for maybe some prints to put on the wall.  I am really excited about it and have received a lot of compliments on the uniqueness of the adventure theme (is uniqueness another way of saying weirdness? I’m choosing to think not). 

Also, my doctor has put me on a carb restricted diet (cue the scream track).  I passed my first glucose test but only by one point, so out of precaution and to prevent undiagnosed diabetes she has suggested that I only eat protein and leafy greens for meals and save carbs for snacks.  This has been a hard transition for me considering I’m a cereal in the morning, sandwich for lunch, and pizza for dinner kind of girl.  I’ve been consuming lots of eggs, salads, broccoli, and chicken as of late (more healthy, but definitely not as much fun).

The baby has become so much more active now! He protrudes little appendages out of my belly like it’s a pastime (guess you have to entertain yourself some how for nine months in a dark, warm, womb).  He also likes to put his feet into my ribs. Try sneezing and being kicked in the rib at the same time. OUCH!  Everything else is going great.  We had a doctor’s appointment on Thursday and he is measuring correctly, my weight, and blood pressure are good, and I’m having no other issues. Truly blessed indeed!

How far along? 31 weeks

Total weight gain: 24 lbs
Maternity clothes? Still wearing summer dresses.  Some people disagree, but there are definite benefits to being pregnant during summer.
Stretch marks? Still none yet! Thank goodness for coco butter. 
Sleep: Convincing myself that lack of sleep is nature’s way of preparing me for the future. 
Miss Anything? CARBS!
Movement: Yep!  Less kicks now and more rolls and jabs. 
Food cravings: Chipotle burritos.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Finally invested in some tums and feeling great!
Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: Nope.
Symptoms: Mild cramping from ligament pain. 

Belly Button in or out? In, mostly, but have a little lip sticking out.

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Happy! Excited!!

Looking forward to: My showers!!!

Dealing with Fear

This week I have officially entered into my third, and final, trimester.  I feel like the time has flown!  I've been told that the feeling of swiftness will end when I'm the size of a house and miserable, but right now I'm really enjoying where I am.  Pregnancy is such an amazing process, and it seems with all of the joys to be discovered, there are many lows.  Although my pregnancy has been pretty easy physically, I've found that there have been many difficulties emotionally.  Fear is the major four letter word during my pregnancy (you may have others). 

It's amazing the difference you find when you "step" into the world of pregnancy.  Almost instantly, people begin to relate to you differently.  Some look at you like you are the cutest thing since dressing dogs up in costumes, and others can't even bring themselves to look at you at all.  Some people want to know every single detail of your exciting (and somewhat disturbing) experience, and others will never acknowledge the fact that you've basically swallowed a basketball and have a tiny human in your belly.  In fact, no one prepared me for the reactions I would experience by becoming pregnant.  They don't add that to your "what to expect" books.  I've even had some educators tell me that my career will be less successful now.  Hey!! What happened to the whole "babies are a miracle and bring tons of joy and happiness (and let me not forget cuteness) into this world?"  In my initial naivety and ignorance, I was completely wrong in assuming that everyone would just be happy for us. 

In addition to what people think, there are plenty of other things to worry about.  There is fear about finances, pain, my career, getting everything we need, getting the nursery together, everything that can go wrong with the baby (even if there is only a .000001 percent it will happen), keeping our marriage healthy,  how I look ("do I look look like the Michelin man in this?"), not gaining too much weight, gaining enough weight, peeing in a cup every two weeks, getting enough calcium (iron, Vitamins A-Z, protein, folic acid, etc), taking your prenatals, exercising (but not letting your heart rate go over 140), sleeping on your left side so you don't cut off the blood supply to your baby, not getting into a bathtub that is too hot, not getting too hot, drinking enough water, WHATS THAT FEELING?!, and, of course, needing to restock the strawberries ASAP!  In addition to all of these little worries, is my fear of breaking the cycle and being a good, stable, and present mother to my son.  Pregnancy basically makes you a worry casserole.  I could blame it all on the hormones, but I'm not sure that would be entirely truthful.  Finding solace in your bowl of ice cream never seems to help either.  During this time I've found a lot of peace and strength in prayer. 

John 14:27 tells us that Jesus has left us with one of the greatest gifts possible, and that is of peace. In our fears, troubles, and worries, Christ has given us comfort that the world can never fully supply.  We can find reassurance in knowing that our peace comes from Him.  Joshua 1:9 tells us to not be afraid for the Lord is with us wherever we go.  Even when we are standing on the scale and we are "certain" that the nurse is looking at us in judgement, or when we can't sleep because our babies are kicking, our legs our tingly, and we're pretty sure we'll have to pee again soon, God is with us.   Perhaps one of the most comforting verses to me is 2 Corinthians 12:9.  Sometimes, when I'm feeling discouraged or overwhelmed I just repeat it to myself and find peace and reassurance.  This verse says, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  In my many weaknesses, my mistakes, my hormonal reactions, my fears, my uncertainty, I can take comfort in knowing that God's grace is enough, because His power works best in my shortcomings.  What can be more encouraging than that?  I don't have to worry about being the "perfect" mom, because God's power is made perfect through my inabilities.  Doesn't that just bring tears to your eyes (or is that just the hormones again)?  These verses, along with prayer and love from my family and friends are some of the ways that I've been able to handle my many fears.  I'm not sure I could ever do this without my faith.   

How far along? 28 weeks

Total weight gain: 20 lbs
Maternity clothes? Still wearing loose fitting dresses (mostly from target).  Comfort indeed!
Stretch marks? Still none yet!
Sleep: Not great.  Using the bathroom 5 times a night and also having random wide awake  moments.
Miss Anything? Being able to be outside in the hot weather without feeling like a waddling puddle of sweat. 
Movement: Yep! He likes to move up into my ribcage and sit on my bladder.
Food cravings: Fruits, limeades

Anything making you queasy or sick: Acid reflux
 Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: Nope.
Symptoms: Charlie Horses at night, acid reflux, sensitive skin, shortness of breath

Belly Button in or out? In, but getting closer to the surface! If I lay a certain way it will pop a bit. 

 Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Happy!! Some worry, as discussed previously :)

Looking forward to: Getting the nursery together.  My showers! Multiple vacations, Holding him

Getting Bigger!

I’ve been feeling pretty walrus-y lately.  My sister lovingly and kindly reminds me that I am doomed to become much bigger. I’m starting to move into that third trimester period when you feel like the blueberry girl on Willy Wonka. My first clue today was when I couldn’t fit into the bathroom stall at a restaurant.  I couldn’t fit through the door because my belly kept getting in the way. Not a great self-esteem booster for the preggy people of the world.   To be fair, though, it was a ridiculously TINY bathroom.  But, I’ve lost sight of my feet when I stand up straight, so there is a mile marker for you!  Other than my ever-increasing waistline, pregnancy has been going fairly smoothly.  Baby has been waking me up for the past two days bopping around.  It’s a sweet feeling that continues to amaze me.  I did have a crazy allergic reaction to scented lotion that broke out my arms like a bad case of poison ivy.  Getting a hormonal pregnant lady itchy is bad news bears.  That lasted about a week, and I’ve had to invest in all organic, non-scented products.  Hopefully it won’t happen again!

I think the best thing you can do for yourself when pregnant is investing in a full body pregnancy pillow.  They wrap around your body and keep you on your side (which you have to be), keep you belly elevated, and your legs separated.  Honestly I would use one if I wasn’t pregnant, but being pregnant is a good excuse to buy one.  I know they are expensive, but seriously, just DO IT! You will not regret it as you grow bigger. I’ve also been using Palmers cocoa butter lotion.  It’s not technically organic, but it has been incredibly gentle on my sensitive skin and I haven’t gotten any stretch marks yet.

I’m going to start creating my pre-baby bucket list for the summer. Anyone else have one? I’ll be sure to share after it’s finished!

How far along? 26 weeks

Total weight gain: 18 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yep! Some maternity jeans and some stretchy capris. Mostly I’ve been running around in loose sun dresses, which I have LOVED.
Stretch marks? none yet!
Sleep: Baby kicks me awake around 4:00 a.m. every morning, but other than that it’s been better than usual! I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, which is nice. 
Miss Anything? Wine! Running.  Having a waist. 
Movement: Yep! He likes to move up into my ribcage and sit on my bladder.
Food cravings: Craving sweets! Chocolate <3

Anything making you queasy or sick: Haven’t felt queasy, but still get acid reflux.
 Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: Nope.
Symptoms: Charlie Horses at night, acid reflux, sensitive skin.

Belly Button in or out? In, but getting closer to the surface! If I lay a certain way it will pop a bit. 

 Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Happy!! Annoyingly so!  Finding joy in everything. 

Looking forward to: Getting the nursery together.  My showers! Kissing his little face. 

Glucose Test Fun

The picture on the left is John on the day he was born.  The picture on the right is baby Baker at 20 weeks. I love how they both have their hands on their ears.  Notice any other similarities?

Well, I passed the glucose test.  I hate to admit it, but I was somewhat nervous.  I had eaten a big piece of chocolate pie the day before. Whoopsy!  The test wasn't too bad.  You have to drink 8 ounces of disgusting, overly sweet, tangy cool aid in under 5 minutes.  When I first took a sip I thought "hey, this will be easy!"  Half way through the bottle, however, I was gagging after every gulp.  I can't imagine what nauseous pregnant women do (And some people claim we are the weaker sex, PLEASE).  You have to wait an hour before they test your blood, so we brought some books to catch up on.  I had previously read about horrible blood sugar crashes that some women experience.  Some websites even suggest leaving your husband at home, because apparently you'll want to rip his face off in a crazed pregnancy rage (add that to those zombie stories).  Luckily, for both of us,  I didn't experience anything like that.  I did get super hyper at first (which may have caused John to want to rip his own face off) and I had to leave the waiting room to walk around a bit.  That could be typical Hilary behavior, though.  I got my results the next day and all was good, although my doctor did stress the importance of not looking at a passing score as a "lets go crazy and eat whatever we want" ticket.  That reminds me, there is some salsa that needs to be eaten right away!

Baby is being much more active.  He wakes me up every morning with little jabs, pokes, and flips.  It's really strange to feel him move from one side of my stomach to the other.  John asks me to describe what it feels like, but I'm not really sure I can.  It feels like it would on the outside, but on the inside. Definitely strange and wonderful at the same time.  When he's being really active at night I like to read to him or play some rockabye baby songs (there is a pandora station for that, so momma's-to-be check it out!).  It is just a really special and awesome time right now for us and I'm loving every second of every day!

Finally An Update!

Wow, its been awhile since I've updated.  The end of my final semester was CRAZY and took all of my focus.  So, I'll do a quick catch up on all that has been going on in the preggy world.

For the most part, I've been feeling pretty well since I hit my second trimester.  I did have a bizarre 4 days where the baby was laying on my sciatic nerve.  My left hip shot pain through my leg every time I moved and my left leg would become completely numb.  I did some research after finding out what it was and discovered that some women suffer from it their entire pregnancy.  OUCH!  Luckily for me, he randomly moved and it went away.  Huzzah!

I've been in nesting mode lately.  Organizing, cleaning, crafting things for the babies room.  I think we have decided on a rustic adventure theme.  I love Restoration Hardware, and have gotten a lot of ideas from them.  I just can not wait until he gets here and I finally get to hold him! Its going to be tough to wait another 4 months!

Tomorrow is my glucose test (Eeeek!).  I am NOT looking forward to guzzling nasty orange goo and waiting an hour to get my blood tested.  Plus- I'm have to fast tonight and tomorrow morning, which is every preggy person's nightmare! Hope John is prepared for a major grump tomorrow.  Hopefully all will go well, and I'll try to focus on the positive of hearing the little heartbeat one more time. 

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain: 14-15 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yep! Some maternity jeans (which I may wear forever) and some stretchy capris 
Stretch marks? none yet!
Sleep: Getting much better.  Still waking up super early and needing a nap midday
Miss Anything? Running and breaking a sweat during exercise. 
Movement: Yep! Still somewhat inconsistent and random. 
Food cravings: Fruit, fruit, and more fruit

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not queasy anymore, but having major acid reflux with spicy foods and chocolate
 Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: Nope.
Symptoms: Super giddy and giggly.  Loving this second trimester.

Belly Button in or out? In

 Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Happy, happy.  Sometimes grumpy if I get too sleepy or hungry. 

Looking forward to: Holding him for the first time!

What will it be???

                                 


We are so excited to find out what the baby bean is going to be next week!  I've heard a lot of people tell me they think its going to be a girl.  What do you think?  Answer the poll above and we'll see who is right!

²⁶ and she said to him, “Pardon me, my lord. As surely as you live, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. ²⁷ I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. ²⁸ So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.   - 1 Samuel 1:26-28