Being Content

So today I woke up and I thought, “I can’t do it.”  I had the feeling that if I got up and attempted to drive to class this morning I would either throw up all over myself in the car, or I would take one sniff of the coffee pot brewing in the classroom and loose it all over myself and the poor person sitting next to me.  To save myself from the misery, embarrassment, and suffering, I decided to stay home.   But since my mind is still in “class” mode I am now currently wide-awake, and since it appears that I may be isolated to one spot today (afraid of moving in fear that as soon as I do I’ll loose my poptarts) I thought I would blog.   

With this vomit themed morning I have been reflecting on Philippians 4 where Paul tells the church to rejoice in all things, reflect on all things good, and be content in all situations.  This is a hard concept for a morning-sickened pregnant woman to accept.  It’s hard to imagine myself hugging the toilet seat and being content and rejoicing in that moment, but this is what God has asked us to do.  A few days ago this idea had not even occurred to me.  Misery loves company and I was certainly miserable.  With the exhaustion, sickness, and other discomforts that come with first trimester pregnancy, I was wallowing in my own self-pity.  I wasn’t able to see past my misery to the glory of what is happening to me.  In my un-content-ness I wasn’t thinking “Oh my goodness! I am having a baby and that is such an amazing and exciting miracle!” I was instead thinking “Oh my goodness! If I don’t make it to the second trimester, and soon, I’m pretty sure I’ll die from all this discomfort!” (dramatic I know, but what can I say, I’m basically hormone soup). 

It is important for me to learn how to grow in my joy and my ability to be content.  I want to continually THANK God for the miracle He has given us and to take each day as a new gift.  I want to find joy in where He has brought me this far, instead of impatiently waiting until the next appointment or the 13^th week.  When I do feel sick, I want to be able to thank God for the ability to have what it takes to grow this baby, even when that is what is making me ill.  What a small sacrifice for a mother to make for such a big payoff! 

Being content in these moments is not easy.  Worrying is practically second nature to mommies-to-be (maybe all mommies in general), but Paul has told us that he has been able to do all things because Christ has given him strength to do it (Philippians 4:13).  We know He will do the same for us. 

Here is a picture of our first ultrasound.  Didn't look like much more than a peanut. Should be bigger now! 

Hope to have some pictures soon of a baby bump! Nothing but bloat as of now, which is far less exciting.