All of the Small Things

 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.  

^{Psalm 139:13 & 14}

I am beyond excited to celebrate Christmas this year as a new mom.  It has amazed me how much fun I’m already having (mostly at my newborn’s expense).  There is something about pictures of babies in Santa hats that gets me, every time.  It could be worse, right?  Might as well enjoy it until he can officially tell me no.  We were able to take all of Thomas’ Christmas pictures at home.  I couldn’t bring myself to take him to a professional studio.  I envisioned screams, tears, and dirty diapers everywhere. Basically I replayed our first doctor’s appointment (shiver).  Because of that "fond" and not yet distant memory, I decided to take the cheap and easy way and just do it ourselves. I’m pretty happy with how they turned out. Of course, any picture with that face can’t be bad, right?

Despite of having a two month old, we managed to get our Christmas decorations up.  It wasn’t easy, but we did decorating spurts during his naps.  I really wanted to find Thomas his own little Christmas tree for his room.  Randomly, I got my heart set on finding him an antique feather or tinsel tree with antique ornaments.  Something about his rustic room led me to believe that he needed a unique tree. I I ended up finding a really cute green tinsel tree and bright antique ornaments at “Feather Your Nest Antiques.”  I fully anticipate having to relocate it one day and replace it with a “cooler” tree full of Lego, star wars, and car ornaments.  

Everyday Thomas continues to amaze me. Some of his new skills (tricks?) include laughing and huge smiles, rubbing his hands together, holding his head up for extended periods of time, and plenty of new noises (squeals and squeaks).  John and I have started reading books to him and he will coo and gaa back to us.  I imagine he’s making some intellectual and stimulating comment about the weak portrayal of the protagonist.  Who knows?  He could also be telling me to shut-up, but I can only speculate at this point.  Regardless, It’s really cute so I will continue for my own entertainment: Benefits of Motherhood. 

            Thomas continues to grow.  He has officially outgrown his bassinet (cue scary music!).  I plan on transitioning him to his crib after Christmas, but for now he is sleeping in his pack-n-play.  Am I crazy to be scared of this?  There is something incredibly comforting about having him next to me.  I can look over and check on him anytime during the night.  Stalker mom?  At least I’ve stopped putting my finger under his nose to make sure he is breathing.  Baby steps.

The world certainly looks different with an eleven week old.  Thomas has brought so much joy, adventure, and education into my life.  Who was I a year ago? I’m not sure I fully understand that person anymore.  It’s amazing how a child instantly changes your perspective on life. Not only perspective, but also personhood: My entire being.  It’s interesting, almost entertaining, to recall my life a year ago.  Little did I know what was waiting on me (that he was waiting on me).  Thomas has certainly humbled me.  It’s difficult to be prideful when you spend your days covered in spit-up, being unimaginably exhausted, totally disheveled, and in complete awe at this little person who has his daddy’s eyes and my nose.  I’m his mom and he depends entirely on me.  The very thought catches me off guard sometimes.  What an amazing system of human relations that has been immaculately created.  What a unique bond that is only able to exist within very specific circumstances.  I can only give glory to God for my ability to experience this.  It is such a rare and unique gift.