Surviving the First Two weeks

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My life for the past two weeks has been a blur of feeding, changing, snuggling, and sleeping.  I almost hate to admit it, but I’ve loved all of it!  Having a newborn brings all of the challenges that people warn you about.  You get very little sleep, you feel like a momma cow, and your freedoms become incredibly limited.  But, there are so many aspects about it that completely out weigh the bad.  For one, you have an excuse to wear your pajamas and lay in the bed all day.  It’s like the fun aspects of being sick without the bad physical affects.  Also, no one can fully prepare you for the amount of love you will have for your child.  You may hear about it or think about it for nine months, but there is nothing like looking into your child’s eyes while they look back at you.  It’s better than Disney World, Christmas, and chocolate combined. 

There have been so many things that I’ve learned over the past couple of weeks. Here are 10 tips that I’ve discovered for surviving this new and exciting time:

-         The best thing you can do for new parents (in my opinion) is to bring them food.  When you are sleep deprived and have a baby who continually depends on you, food is the last thing on your mind.  Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m hungry until I put something in my mouth and discover that I’m famished.  If it wasn’t for the kindness and generosity of our friends and family, we would be living off frozen pizza and cereal.  When people bring us food it’s like edible gold.  We get so excited.  It doesn’t have to be anything gourmet or fancy.  We had one friend who picked us up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and you would have thought it was Thanksgiving dinner.  Some people have brought us their leftovers and we loved it!  If you live far away order the couple a pizza, most websites you can order and pay online.  Food, in any shape or form, is the best gift to new moms and dads.

-         Get a breastfeeding app on your smart phone before you have the baby.  It will save you some awkward stares when the nurses and doctors ask you how many times you have fed him, how many dirty diapers he’s had, and how much he has slept.  These things may seem simple enough to remember, but trust me, there may be a moment when the nurse asks you the last time you fed your baby and you will have no clue.  It’s amazing how sleep deprivation, physical exhaustion, and excitement can affect your memory.   Go ahead and load one on your phone now.  You’ll be thankful during those late night feedings and doctors appointments.

-         Breastfeeding may still hurt, even when you are doing it “right.”  Before having Thomas I had done my fair share of research on breastfeeding.  I read books, watched videos, and took classes.  Something about nipple damage terrified me (shock).  So, I felt prepared for breastfeeding before I even stepped into the hospital.  A lot of the classes, books, and videos will tell you that if you are doing it “right” it wont hurt.  This is NOT always true.  I had three lactation consultants check my latch, positioning, and technique and it still hurt and I still got blisters.  Prepare yourself just incase you are like me and don’t expect it to always be pain free.  Your body has a lot of adjustments to make.

-         Give yourself two weeks.  Tell yourself that in a couple of weeks, things will get easier, and they really do.  Breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, hormones, healing, diaper changes, they all seem to become more manageable after a two week period.  I read that most moms will stop breastfeeding before two weeks because of intense pain or other issues.  Don’t give up! Things will and do get better.  Once your body heals, you get to know your baby, and things settle down you will feel so much better.  Fight through the first couple of weeks and look towards the light at the end of the tunnel!

-         Make a plan for surviving nighttime feedings.  Although being a mom may seem like something that should come naturally, many aspects of motherhood do not.  Waking yourself up every hour to feed your baby is not an easy transition to make, but it doesn’t have to be a horrible experience.  Before I had Thomas I knew that I would struggle with this.  I decided to make a game plan, which I implemented, and have found to be incredibly successful for me.  The best advice I can give is to figure out what works for you and prepare for it beforehand.  Think about what it’s going to be like to feed every hour or two and for 30 minutes at a time, and then having diaper changes immediately following.  What is going to keep your sanity?  For me what works is to keep off all of the lights, except for cracking our bathroom door (just enough to see what I’m doing), having snacks and drinks on my bed night stand, having a book with an attachable light, and my computer with headphones where I can watch Netflix or listen to music.  Finding things that will keep you awake and sane during nighttime feeding may make the difference in your sanity.  I’ve actually even begun to enjoy the night when things are quiet and I get time to my baby and myself.  It’s become incredibly peaceful for me. 

              *A note on nighttime sleeping habits.  I have no proof that this works, but I've read (and hope) that it will.  We try to keep the lights as low as possible, talk in hushed voices, and keep the nighttime about sleeping.  I'm quick about feedings and diaper changes and I put Thomas down to sleep immediately afterwards.  I've heard that this will help transition him into long nighttime sleep and keep his days and nights separate.  Right now he eats every three hours during the night (from beginning of feeding to the next feeding), which is pretty good for an infant.  I'll let you know how this plan works as he gets older.

-         If you are having a boy, don’t try to change him on your bed.  We initially made this mistake and paid for it by having to wash our sheets several nights in a row.  I’m not sure if girls have this same problem, but boys will be boys and will spray pee surprisingly long distances.  We ended up turning our dresser into a changing station, which has worked wonders. YES, you have to get out of the bed and change the baby, which is really annoying at first, but it beats having to change your sheets.  Plus, you’ll probably have to get up and use the bathroom anyways.

-         Don’t worry about spoiling your newborn.   People will warn you that your willingness to continually pick-up, feed, and comfort your baby will spoil them.  The truth is that spoiling isn’t even possible until your baby has the cognitive ability to be spoiled.  A two week old is not manipulative.  They haven’t learned that wonderful human quality yet.  Don’t be afraid to feed your baby or hold them when they are this young.  They depend on you to meet their needs.  Considering where they have come from (continually having their needs met) to where they are now is a big adjustment.  Plus, it will save you your sanity.  You shouldn’t be worrying about doing too much for your baby when your central nervous system is in shock from them screaming their heads off. Plus, in a couple of months they will be spoilable, so get as much lovins in now as you can.

-         Get at least one nap in a day.   People will tell you to sleep when the baby does.  Well, if you're like me, this may not always be possible.  Sometimes you just want to do the laundry, hang out with your husband, or do other things besides feeding, changing, sleeping, and repeat.  I’ve tried (and often fail) to take at least one long nap a day.  The difference one nap can make can be huge.

-          Set aside time to bond with and enjoy your baby.  I think it’s easy to get lost in the monotony of having a newborn.  Many times you are just trying to make it through the day/night.  I think it’s really important to set aside time to bond with and enjoy your baby. This is what I’ve tried to do:  At night, between feedings, I read to Thomas, sing him a couple of songs, and talk to him.  I did this when I was pregnant before I would go to bed, so I’ve just tried to continue that tradition.  In the morning, after his feeding, I’ll read to him a daily devotion, scripture reading, and say my prayers out loud.  I also try to take moments when I can just watch him, take pictures of him, and laugh at his adorable facial expressions.  Taking moments to do these things can really put things in perspective and makes all of the dirty diapers, continual feedings, and tears worth it. 

-         For husbands:  Husbands may often feel left out during this time.  It’s the moms who do all of the feedings and most of the nighttime work.  Some husbands may be uncertain on how to help.  For me, the biggest help John could and has provided (short of growing boobs himself) has been his expressions of love, support, and gratitude.  Some ideas may include: Buying your wife a present for delivery (push present) to show her how proud of her you are (labor isn’t easy, trust me).  When running out to get some last minute supplies, pick her up her favorite coffee or candies.  The simple pleasures in life can be huge right now.  During the night when she’s feeding the baby, wake up and ask her if she needs anything.  Help change diapers or hold the baby so she can take a nap or a long shower.  Make, or pick up, her favorite meal.  When the baby is crying and she is trying to comfort him, hold her hand, rub her back, offer to take the baby, or find ways to show her that you are in this with her.  These simple acts of appreciation can make all of the difference for her, and they express how much you value all of the things she does for you and the baby.